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each of them shifted uncomfortably, waiting for the other to speak.
Finally, Lauren cleared her throat and said,  Hello, Daddy.
He was standing in the shadows, but even there Lauren could see how much older he looked than the
last time they were together. The creases in his face were deeper and he looked thinner and weary.
Howard gently cleared his throat, his gaze drifting to the curb.  That your new boyfriend? With a square
chin, he gestured towards the Secret Service agent waiting in the car.  Get tired of being famous so you
picked an ordinary man instead?
Lauren sighed.  I m still with Devlyn, Daddy. That s Jack, an agent assigned to try and keep me safe.
Howard s gray-eyed gaze flicked to Lauren and ignited with indignation.  Safe from me?
Shit.  Of course not.
He grunted and dismissed the agent from his thoughts.  Why are you here? I told you before, if you 
  If I left Tennessee to go back to Washington when my mama needed me that I wasn t welcome here
again, Lauren interrupted, her voice steady, though her heart was pounding.  How could I forget?
 Don t you sass me, girl. Howard s expression darkened.  Your mama taught you better than that.
They stood there staring at one another, searching for family, but seeing a stranger s eyes instead.
Howard finally looked away and sighed.  Do& um& do you want to come in?
 Yes, Lauren blurted.  Or& well, maybe we could go out back? Nervously, she stuffed her hands
into her pockets.  It s cooler outside.
It wasn t a particularly warm day, but he drawled a low,  All right, and headed around back with
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Lauren trailing behind him.
The back yard was small and surrounded by a white picket fence that was missing planks every so
often.  Don t come out here much, he said, seeing Lauren s gaze travel to the fence.  No kids playin
back here anymore.
Several lawn chairs were clustered around a small table that held an ashtray and an empty soda can.
Howard sat down first. When Lauren remained standing, he lifted grizzled eyebrows.  What? His voice
was gruff but held a resigned note that surprised Lauren. It was as though all the fight had gone out of
him.
She looked at the ashtray.  I thought you quit.
 I thought you were normal. He shrugged one shoulder.  Guess neither one of us knows the other as
well as we thought we did.
She wasn t surprised by his attitude, but the remark hit her in an unexpectedly deep place. It stung, but
she refused be baited.  That was cruel, Daddy.
His jaw worked, and he pushed the table away and stood, ready to bolt.  I know, he whispered.  Go
back to Washington , D.C. , Lauri. This place hasn t been home for you for a long, long time.
 No, Lauren agreed, reaching out and laying her hand on his forearm.  It hasn t. But you re still my
father. She swallowed.  Please wait. I& um& I came here to talk, not to argue.
Howard let out a slow breath and nodded. He sat back down and steepled thick fingers on the tabletop.
 Do we have anything to talk about?
A lump grew in Lauren s throat, nearly cutting off her speech.  I really hope so, Daddy. She sat down
across the table from him, her mind scrambling to come up with something to say. She d truly expected
him to slam the door in her face, and now that she was actually here, talking to him, she found herself
uncharacteristically tongue-tied.
After a long flustered moment, he broke the silence by a whispered,  How could you do it?
Lauren winced. That wasn t the beginning she d been hoping for.  How could I do what? You ll have to
be more specific. Seems like I m disappointing a lot of people these days. Whether I mean to or not.
Howard leaned forward intently.  How could you leave when we needed you? And all to take up
with& that& that woman?
 Her name is Devlyn.
 I know her Goddamned name! A shaking hand coming up and sweeping back a shock of pale hair
that was mixed liberally with gray.
She tried not to flinch, lifting one hand, only to let it drop again.  Jesus, Daddy, what do you want me to
say? That I m sorry I left Tennessee for Washington ? Well, I m not! Devlyn needed me and I couldn t
do anything to help Mama. I never could. Her temper flared when he opened his mouth to speak.  And
don t dare you say differently!
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 No, no, he murmured, still heartsick.  She was in the hospital.
 So was Devlyn, she shot back.
Howard slammed his hand down hard on the white, plastic table, causing it to wobble furiously.  That
woman is not your family. Whatever you feel for her, it s not the same thing as blood.
 No, she agreed slowly.  I guess it s not. But even then I was closer to Devlyn than I ever was to
Mama. She needed me. And, Daddy, she paused and looked him directly in the eye,  she s my family
now.
 Does that mean she ll get the same respect we did? he challenged.  We needed you, Lauren.
Feeling slightly sick, Lauren dropped her gaze from his and spoke in a whisper.  I m sorry I had to
choose.
Howard grunted his acknowledgement of her words, though not his acceptance.  And if you had to
choose all over again?
She looked up from her hands, her expression as fierce as he d ever seen it.  I d choose exactly the
same way.
He let out a low groan. His voice grew quiet and Lauren was shocked to see his eyes go misty.  What
happened to make you want a woman that way? he asked with all the bewilderment of a confused child.
 Did someone touch you when you were a girl? Desperately, he cast about for an explanation as Lauren
stared at him, her mouth slightly open in shock.  Did 
 No, she hissed. She glanced skyward, waiting for some divine intervention she knew wouldn t come.
 God, it s nothing like that, Daddy. Nothing happened to me except that I fell in love. It s a wonderful [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]