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the skin on his arms and neck. Hairline scars appeared where cracks had been.
Bella suddenly had a vision of Edward standing behind her, one arm holding her
firmly against him while the fingers of his opposite hand traced a healed wound
on her neck. His words, spoken low and reverently, echoed in her mind.
"When they are fully healed, human eyes won't be able to see the scars, but ours
will."
She looked at the others then. They all bore the same types of marks. Her hand
flew up to her neck, covering the area where Edward had bitten. Broken images
fired rapidly through her mind, and she tried to put an order to her memories.
Her body being crushed while his teeth tore into her neck. His eyes fluttering closed
as she traced the planes of his face. The way he pushed on her ribcage, threatening
her to keep silent. Whispered promises. His hate-filled black eyes focusing on her as
he attacked. His remorseful expression as he was pinned to the ground. The way he
held her face tenderly and kissed her. The searing pain of broken flesh. Over and
over again.
Bella focused as hard as she could, but her mind was going in too many directions.
She could no longer compartmentalize her new senses. Now that she had
processed everything, she was inundated with information.
Carlisle, sensing that Bella was quickly becoming overwhelmed, ushered everyone
except for Edward out of the room. "See if you can calm her down enough to hunt,"
he said before closing the door.
Edward nodded, never taking his eyes off the girl. He couldn't find his voice, and
even if he did, he wouldn't know what to say. She was standing in front of him
alive and very much a vampire. No longer a delicate human, nothing could destroy
her now. Without the scent of her blood, she was no longer a temptation to him or
his family. His mind was silent once again. He had never felt this at peace in his
entire existence.
Until she bolted for the door.
"No," Edward called out in alarm.
Bella had barely made it to the center of the room before Edward stood and
jumped in front of her, blocking her path. He braced himself as she collided with
him, her hands instinctively going for his neck. She tightened her grip around his
throat. Unexpectedly, the pads of her fingers began to crack from the pressure. It
was unpleasant, like nails scraping across a chalkboard. She released her hold and
backed away from him.
Although their reasons were different, their expressions mirrored each other's
sheer panic.
With a gasping breath, Edward dropped to his knees. His fingers quickly found the
small fracture on his neck. It was nothing that wouldn't heal on its own. He hadn't
expected her attack, and he was even more surprised that she was able to stop.
"You're staying?" he whispered hopefully.
Bella didn't want to stay. Her surroundings were stressful. She had to get away
from the house, away from the others, away from everything that was adding to
her already overstimulated senses. It was apparent that Edward wasn't going to
let her leave, but she needed to.
Survival was her strongest instinct now.
Without thinking about her actions or their consequences, Bella lunged at him
once again. Edward didn't move from his spot on the floor. He didn't bring his
hands up to defend himself. He didn't even flinch. He looked into Bella's terrified
eyes as her hands tightened once again around his neck. This time she ignored the
uncomfortable feeling of her fingers breaking against his flesh, and with a
sickening crack, she tore his head from his body.
For how fast she fled, everything should have been a blur. However, she saw with
perfect clarity the shocked faces of Edward's family as she ran past them and out
the door.
~ * ~
CHAPTER 17
One year later . . .
Time is a strange thing. Sometimes it drags on, sometimes it flies by, but it always
moves forward.
There had been moments in Bella's human life when she felt time moved slowly
participating in awkward social situations, working evening and weekend shifts,
waiting for injuries to heal but it was nothing compared to being a vampire. She
would have thought that having all of eternity spread out before her would make
time feel as if it were moving faster. Instead, the monotony of her new life made
the past year feel longer than her entire 18 years spent as a human.
The sun rose, the sun set, Bella never slept. She talked to herself as she wandered
alone. In fact, she never knew how far the depths of loneliness were until now.
She found that, as time wore on, she became less and less bitter toward Edward.
Instincts, she discovered, were strong, and she slowly came to understand and
accept the way he had acted under the crushing weight of loneliness. She didn't
dwell on the decision she had made, and she refused to feel guilty. It wouldn't do
her any good now.
Bella never did see anyone else like her. It was still hard for her to admit what she
was, though her true nature became apparent during the handful of occasions she
encountered humans. She had enough sense and control to stay away from large
populations, but from time to time she would cross paths with a group of hikers or
campers. It always ended in bloodshed, much to Bella's dismay. She didn't want to
be a monster. At least she got a change of clothes out of the deal.
As the year passed, she became more and more in control of herself. She was much
better at focusing her attention on specific things. Her newborn tendencies waned,
and she started to feel more "human" as her normal personality returned. She also
noticed a decrease in her strength. She was still incredibly strong, but if she
weren't so in tune with her body, she probably wouldn't have noticed the subtle
difference.
These gradual changes gave her hope that she was ready to control herself around
humans, and she decided it was time to test that theory. Bella didn't know exactly
where she was, but she knew she was on the outskirts of a small town. Her plan
was to go into the local shopping center, at least for a little while. Sure the
situation wasn't ideal, but winter was fast approaching, and she didn't want to
wait until spring to test her control on a more isolated group of people.
There was a reason for her urgency to acclimate herself she was tired of being
alone. She didn't expect to be able to interact with people on a personal level; she
was just tired of feeling disconnected from the world. She wanted to read books
and watch TV and movies. She wanted to have a roof over her head. She wanted to
shower and wear clean clothes. Most importantly, she wanted to see Charlie. It's
not that she planned to approach him directly; that would be far too dangerous.
She just wanted to be able to keep an eye on him from a distance and make sure he
was okay without killing everyone she came in contact with.
It took a long time after her change before she even started thinking of Charlie.
Her mind was preoccupied with blood lust, and she struggled to adjust to her keen [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]