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Love. Happiness. Everything in the world.
 Shane didn t answer. He was fighting for control, struggling to keep his face blank. All he
really wanted to do was reach out and pull Jesse into his arms. But he couldn t. Shane had a
responsibility to his brother. As Nicky had reminded him, blood should always come first. There
was nothing Shane could do now that he d already agreed.
 Shane& please don t do this. Are you trying to rip me in half?  Cause that s what you re
doing.
 Look, we signed the contract last night. It s over, Jesse. Not Jess, not Jay, but Jesse.
Shane hadn t called him that in months. It felt awful in his mouth.
Jesse stared at him in shock, his face deathly pale.
He turned to walk away from the best friend he d ever had, get the fuck out of the
situation before he lost it and begged Jesse to forgive him. He wished he could have done
something differently, anything to erase the memory of Jesse s anguish. Anything to keep it from
happening in the first place.
Turn around, you fool. It was the biggest mistake you ever made.
Too late. Shane felt a piercing, tearing pain in the center of his spine.
 You ripped me in half, Shane. It s your turn& 
Shane blinked in the partial darkness of Kayden s room. God, what a horrible dream.
He d never been one to believe dreams meant something, but that had felt so real, as if he were
reliving that moment all over again. Except for the ending. Who knew what the hell that was
about? Probably just his conscience fucking with him, now that he was trying to move on.
Shit, Jesse. Wherever you are, I m sorry. I ve said it a million times, but I am so, so
sorry.
 Hey, what s wrong? Kayden s sleepy voice startled him.
 Nothin , Shane muttered.  Sorry I woke you up.
 I was awake. Just thinking.
  Bout what?
 Oh, um, there s something I was planning to do while I was here in Chicago. I m
starting to think it s a bad idea, though.
 How come?
 Kayden shrugged.  Best laid plans, you know? You should go back to sleep.
Shane searched his expression, trying to read something, anything, on that inscrutable
face. He settled back down against his pillow and reached out to draw Kayden to his side.
Surprisingly, Kayden didn t protest but nestled himself in and made a small humming noise.
They were quiet for a few minutes. Shane could tell Kayden was awake too. He wasn t
sure if he was going to be able to fall back to sleep after that awful dream. Jesse. Why are you
coming back to me now, when I could finally be happy for once? He gritted his teeth and had to
keep from squeezing Kayden.
 Hey, Shane?
Shane was surprised to hear his voice.  Yeah?
 Can I ask you a question?
 Sure.
 How come you don t still know your best friend the guy from your tattoo?
Shane bit back a sigh. Jesse was the last thing he wanted to talk about, especially with
Kayden.  We got in a fight. Like I said, it was a long time ago.
 But didn t you ever want to find him and apologize? Make up or whatever?
Yes. Find him and apologize, tell him I still loved him, that I d take it all back if I could.
But it would ve never worked. Jesse hated me after that day.  It wasn t worth it, was all Shane
said. He didn t know how else to tell Kayden how hopeless the cause would ve been.
 You never even tried?
Shane shook his head, glad that Kayden couldn t see the misery on his face.  Look, I
fucked up, okay? I walked away when I should have stayed. He paused, a bitter laugh escaping
before he could fight it back.  It s all anyone in my family ever does.
 But what if he was looking for you?
 Trust me, he wasn t. Listen, Jesse s ancient history, all right? He doesn t matter
anymore. Can we just go to sleep?
 Yeah, Kayden answered. His voice sounded thick, like he was holding back a yawn or
something. Poor guy was probably exhausted.
 Night, Kayden.
  Night.
* * *
Shane woke again when the room was flooded with early-morning light. He reached over
to ask Kayden to close the curtains they were on his side after all but all he found was an [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]