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thing" from a woman. Love to her was but a word that "liars" spoke to deceive
her. I called forth the hatred, let it flow, horrified at what I heard! Only
my own professional training allowing me to go on! I
once treated a hard core feminist, but her own anger was noth- ing compared to
Darlanis' own deep seated hatreds of all men...
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"And Thar Marden saw me, had me sent for," Darlanis replied. The rest was
history. The new King of Sarn (he was a "Warlord of Sarn" who had just married
the recently widowed Queen Tara Bisan)
quickly divorced Queen Tara so that he could marry the more beau- tiful
Dularnian and make her his
Queen. He had one child by Dar- lanis before dying in a battle against the
Nevadas. Anna Mar- den, the first Imperial Princess, being "lost at sea"
before Dar- lanis' eyes as the horrified Empress saw her drift off! Sarnian
Queen, her flagship, having been sunk in a storm when it struck an uncharted
rock at night somewhere north of Trella. Little Anna then being "picked up" by
a Lorr battle-disc investigating the area and taken to Mars where she quickly
became the "child" of another, the lovely Aurora of Mars.
Aurora's own actions here no doubt are subject to a certain degree of
criticism as she cer- tainly knew
"better" here than to "keep" Darlanis' daughter!* * There is of course a "good
reason" why she did so.
The details are in my own book, which I think will shock everyone! (Darlanis)
"And now you know the entire story," Darlanis said to me, sipping at the wine
I had provided for us.
We were alone, with- out slave girls or anyone else who might overhear or
repeat what had been said.
"And why there is now nothing but hatred between me and Queen Tulis. Why peace
between Dularn and the Empire is impossible." I recalled what Jon had told me
about Queen Tulis. The fits of rage, the now obvious signs of mental
instability!* * These were caused by her brain tumor, I now understand.
I wondered about Queen Tulis. About the "guilt" she carried deep within
herself. One does not do what she had done to one's own daughter and not
suffer later on. I suspected Tulis was now well aware of what she had done to
her lovely little girl. Aware perhaps even that Darlanis had been telling the
"truth" and that her own brother had indeed raped her some thirty years ago
now!
"And what of you?" I asked Darlanis. "Tell me your feel- ings. What do you
feel deep inside? Hatred or longing for what could have been?" That was part
of my task as her psychiatrist. To bring out HER
deepest feelings. To bring everything to light! Then "guide" her in seeking a
"solution" to her own
"problems"! In some cases where possible I used hypnosis to get at the TRUTH,
but this was now impossible here for reasons as I have mentioned.
"I do have a mother who loves me," Darlanis said to me, much to my surprise.
"She would never
`hurt' me even if sometimes she doesn't understand how I truly `feel' about
her." Darlanis was starting to weep again, her azure eyes filled with tears as
they looked into mine. "She is good, kind, and very understanding."
"And this woman in your fantasies has replaced your own ac- tual mother?" I
ventured. I had encountered this before in my own practice back in the 20th
Century. Often abused children do create for themselves a loving parent in
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their fantasies to re- place the cruel parent of reality. Considering what
Darlanis had gone through, such a "retreat" from "reality" didn't surprise me!
"She is not a `fantasy'," Darlanis said to me. "She is real. She is the woman
I wish could have been my real mother!" At this point Darlanis broke down
completely and could only sob as I held her, still wondering just who this
woman could have been. Perhaps some instructor at the Warrioress Academy
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who had understood the torment that this lovely young woman had suffered.
"If only you-you could do it!" Darlanis sobbed against my silken dress,
wetting it with her salty tears. I wondered what I could "do" for her. What [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]